Shake yo bam bam
About a couple of weeks ago, The Nairobian launched its ‘Miss Bumpy Bum’ contest, a competition that is supposed to uncover the country’s most bountiful backside.
The first leg of the competition in Nakuru – hosted by comedian Jalang’o and the bootylicious Vera Sidika – kicked off with a ‘bum’, as women took to the catwalk to quite literally, put their assets on display.
Now this wouldn’t be Africa if women didn’t have some junk in the trunk. But from the goings-on in Nakuru, some women are clearly more blessed than others. Even Ms Vera’s legendary posterior was put to shame.
The ladies left little to the imagination, strutting their stuff like they wouldn’t know a body issue if it smacked them in the butt. Their comfort in their own skin was inspirational all on its own.
These were all grown-ass women capable of making their own decisions and for that reason alone, I really had no problem with the gratuitous display of flesh. End of the day, it’s just a naughty bit of fun that’s not really harming anyone.
That has been my position. Not once did it cross my mind that other women would find it offensive. But then a 30 second clip of a contestant wiggling her jiggly bits surfaced on Facebook and some women were outraged.
The contestant had on a thong and when she got to the end of the runway, she did and about turn, paused for a second and then twerked it out. The crowd erupted in cheers and whistles. That particular show of feminine bravado certainly pushed the envelope to its limits. One step further and it would have been something else altogether.
That said, none of it would have been a crime. Grown women can do what they want. And if folks are willing to pay money to see bums – bumpy or otherwise – more power to them.
But predictably, critics of the contest, most of whom based their condemnation on the 30 second clip, were unamused. First, they tore into Vera Sidika questioning her status as a ‘role model’ for young women. The general gist was that ‘our daughters’ are making all the wrong choices because they look up to Vera and aspire to be like her.
Then they stoned the wiggling woman half to death – virtually – giving her a further dressing down for alleged indecent exposure, a situation they claim was made worse by the presence of male spectators.
Well, look; if a grown-ass woman wants to shove her backside in a paying customer’s face, leave her to it. Her morals, or lack thereof, are really none of your concern.
And another thing, if you have a daughter and Vera Sidika is her role model, then pole mummy, you have no one to blame but yourself. You’re the one raising her, so have a seat and figure out where you went wrong. Throwing stones at other women for their choices, for the flimsy reason that you don’t agree with them, has never been an acceptable response. Even Jesus refused to judge women based on their choices – for those of y’all who are tempted to quote the Bible.
End of the day, in a society as morally corrupt us ours, most everyone who points a finger is living in a glass house.