Sleep is my new favourite pastime
Well…if I’m completely honest, it has always been my favourite pastime. Perhaps even my only pastime. So maybe it’s moved beyond a pastime and just become ‘time’. I’ve become a master of the ‘just-15-more-minutes’ morning routine.
The alarm goes off at say 6.30AM and immediately I hit the snooze button. It goes off again at 6.45. Snooze. 7.00. Snooze. 7.15. Pick up the phone and bury it under the mattress so that it doesn’t make so much noise. 7.30. Ignore it. 7.45. Throw the phone across the room. At 8.00, turn the alarm off and bury my face in the pillow. At 8.03, throw your feet on the floor and pull the curtains open with an enthusiasm that is unmatched by my sour state of mind.
And I know I’m not alone in this. This morning routine is perhaps a little strange but I’m yet to meet a person who likes getting out of bed, in the morning or otherwise. That super, sleepy sensation that one experiences just when the day breaks is indescribable. It is the sweetest sleep ever. You would do anything for just a few more minutes. Quit your job, give up your worldly possessions, sell your kids. Anything.
It is during those moments every morning, when you begin to evaluate your priorities. You begin to ask yourself philosophical questions like, “Do I really need a monthly income?” “Isn’t employment just a form of modern day slavery?” “I can always have another child…after all, Abraham was ready to give up Isaac.” “What’s 15 minutes in the greater scheme of things?”
Those extra Z’s make the rest of the alphabet shrink in comparison. You would give up your citizenship if you had to. The funny thing is, when the waking hour passes and you don’t have to get out of bed anymore, suddenly you’re wide-awake. All bright eyed and bushy tailed as if the word ‘sleep’ never existed in your vocabulary. Nothing sucks as much as losing that precious desire to sleep on a weekend.
It’s 8.00AM and there’s nothing to do and no one to see, but annoyingly, you’re awake, and there’s only the early birds for company. You turn this way and that, trying to find that sweet spot so that you can snuggle down and drift blissfully into the land of your dreams but nothing doing. You’re still as alert as the president’s bodyguard. So you get out of bed, throw your feet on the floor and pull the curtains open with an enthusiasm that is unmatched by your sour state of mind.
Thankfully, you can always catch up on them Z’s later in the day, which kind of makes up for your sleep deprived week days. Lord knows what life would be otherwise! Do have a restful weekend.